are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
