Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
