I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
