Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Randomize
