That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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