How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
We're too hungover to prance.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
