We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
