I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
