lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
