I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
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