Having a random hookup so left but love u
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
