im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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