why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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