Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize