When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
