I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
