So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
