How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
