I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
