WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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