I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
