is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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