im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
