I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize