my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
