Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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