I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
