For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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