That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
