I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
