the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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