if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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