And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
