i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
