every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
