Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
