Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
