I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
