The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
