I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
This girl is more easily done than said...
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
