Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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