I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
