i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
