You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
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That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
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Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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