went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
The power of my boobs compel you
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize