so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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