You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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