No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
