and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I don't deserve a penis
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize