My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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