Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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