Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
she smelled like a LAN party
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
