I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
