Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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