True but thats because hes a fetus.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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