There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
