I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
