the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
