thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
