is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize
