where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
