Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
