Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
