Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
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Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
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He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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