She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
